world where you live

I am getting so frustated!
this is like the 6th time ive started this entry, i've put this off for so long that i dont even know where to start.

the past two weeks i have felt my heart rooting here and i have felt its breaking, and the sadness i have felt has been like no other feeling i have ever had. In north america i dont think we know what it means to be a orphan and God has definitly been putting that on my heart for the past while.

To be a Child of Masoyi or generally a child of africa means that you have watched each of your parents waste away for like 24 months, the whole time you dont really understand whats going on and not knowing what to do, then your parents do pass away and you are alone, and you are left with this huge love-less void in your life, you dont have the two people who are suppost to suport you and guide you and be there for you to talk to, you are alone.

its blows me away when i think about it how when i am at youth, or when i am with the young mothers or at one of the care centers that EVERY single one of those people have been through this.

and what comes out of this situation is a generation who is not scared of dealth, a generation that doesnt really care about HIV cause it took there parents so it may as well take them to, a generation who wants love but has not been loved so doesnt know how to.

I need to always remind myself that i am best friends with the God of impossiablites, my hope is completely in Jesus, I guess i may come off as a religion freak but to see what has been done here and what needs to change in our whole world to see the change here there is no other place to put hope.

so yes this has been my heart for the past while.

go outside quietly

I so have the biggest crush ever on Africa...

the other day i came up with an idea that i think is totally Brill ant, but first some background information.
Hands at work has a goal to reach 100,000 OVC's by 2010, this is a HUGE goal, but Hands believes that God gave them this goal and that through him all things and possible.
so we pray lots about reaching this goal and we pray for all the project leaders and stuff and I've always loved prayer and when people prayed for me and how prayer can just connect people, like before i came to Africa after reading Laura's book i prayed for 3 people, Stanley Winny and Themba almost every day, now Stanley and i work together its a pretty cool experience.
ANYWAY the other day when i was talking to my sister as we where saying goodbye i was like "Zoey can you please pray for the forward students? they are starting their exams now" and she was like "for sure" and the more i thought about prayer, the more i was thinking about how cool it would be to set a person from home up with a specific person from here to be prayed for, so that's what I'm going to do.

I already have a list going of people who i want to link together but there are many others who would be encouraged by a friend in Canada praying for them, I'm setting up this little packages with the persons picture and a part of there story (some of you already have them coming in the mail!) I believe prayer is very important and i think praying for someone real that you know there story can help you be a part of whats going in in Africa.

so i would like everyone who wants a person to pray for to please email me (reflectwhatyoubelieve@hotmail.com), and please make sure i have your mailing address so i can send you the little package.

everywhere i look

another day another blog.
The past two months i have really realized how much "of my generation" i really am, cause when every something worth anything happens im like "im totally blogging about this"

I realize my blogs can be kind of heavy so i was thinking about like all the things i love about south africa and stuff and yeah i thought i would write about that.

I love that when we drive through masoyi everyone waves and smiles, i love saying "yebo" drawn out and in two slylabals and trying to learn siswati, i(usually) love how everytime i sit down in the community someone does my hair, i love having grilled cheese sandwiches for breakfast, i love the way africans sing, i love how the people i am around are REAL, i love sending snail mail,I love how my siwati name is "Tsandza" which means love, I love listening to my friend stanley laugh because his laugh is hilarous, i love how our house is like comfortable with each other, I love going to induna adventures with the youth group here and seeing these youth get a day to just like be teenagers and play and hang out (we did a huge zipline and i was terrified and screaming and i will forever be mocked because of it), I love spening time in the youth meetings because i dont know if i have ever been so impressed, these kids totally respect and trust each other they act so mature, giving everyone a chance to speak and listen, I know for a fact that they are going to change there community for the better. I loved going to st.johns which is a children hostile, i loved how the nuns that work at st.johns say that she truly believes that the children who live there (27 of which are HIV positive)DO have a future, they arent just creating a comfortable place for them to die, they are creating a home for these beautiful children, i love how when i was in canada i thought winking at people was like the creepist thing you could do and now its like all i do, i love how i can eat pup now when before i was kind of ignorant about it, i love how when people ask me how old i am and i say 18 they are all like SOOO shocked, i love how the other day Dara, laura, Callan and myself smelled dustans pillow, i love when dara and laura send me "sms"(texts) saying "i miss you" when im away from them for like...a hour. I love how all the youth know who my sister is cause i always talk about her, i dont particularly love but find kind of funny how when we play silly games the youth try to do things just to embarras me, i love how things just come together.I love how i feel i am learning more about who i am. I love how God is SOO present here.


I love my life here.