iced coffee

Okay so honestly deep down inside i've got some major anxiety about the whole africa thing. Im scared that im going to get there and do something wrong or be inappriote or something, i know alot of this anxiety comes from when we went to toronto on a "missions trip" and one of the leaders from urban promise chewed me out for doing something that was "wrong" and i didnt even understand and being my shy(?) 13 year old self i just didnt ask what i did or whatever or why it was wrong.

so anyway i have this big fear that im going to get there and be totally useless and basically create chaos or something.
but today i was calmed a little....i recieved a lovely letter from a lovely friend who is living in saskatoon right now taking police studies.
in this letter there was a Bible verse that i quite enjoyed.
now you see i think context is a very important thing when reading the Bible and i dont know the context or anything of this verse but i do enjoy the *words*

"for i know the plans i have for you; says the Lord "they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a futre and a hope"
jeremiah 29:11

soo cool.

slinky

30 days till i leave to africa!
well actually seeing as its 3 oclock in the morning on the 23 its only 29....wow.

I came across Natilie blair and Dan Johnbs blogs and they scared the life out of me, they both talk about africa being theres homes and how they dont think they can leave and im not saying that automatically means that i am going to be staying there but i almost want to say that i know this trip is going to be longer then a year and that maybe africa is my future, i dont know if that riduclous to be saying when i havent even gone there yet...i guess we will see.

Im kinda in a weird place...like i cant stop thinking about africa and im so like...shocked? about the whole thing i guess, im not really worried but the core of me is scared and i dont even know what about....maybe cause i kinda feel like im not ready, and im not sure if i can actually make a difference....
im so like two sided about everything...part of me is like this is TOTALLY my thing (which it is) but the other part is scared of the changes i have to make inside myself to be that person.
so yeah i guess thats what it all comes down to...is that im scared to change,cause its going to be hard...it will be for the better but ahhh

anyway im stoaked
29 days.

also!

I've written about my friend Laura before and explained about how she works with orphanged youth in a program called "forward", today i recieved and email from one of the students telling me that he was really excited to meet me and it totally made my life!

curbside prophet

35 DAYS Oh my gosh!
and things are quickly falling together.

yesturday i had all my vacanations and today i experiances "symptomys of typhoid" lame i had a fever all day at work, not impressed.

i ordered some african currency and i wired money to hands at work, i also had my physical.
now the things left on the list are to get some more africa friendly clothing, get new glasses and contuie raising support.

tonight we atteneded a hands at work info night and it was incrediably cool, i briefly (cause im aweful at first impressions and really akward with people i dont know) met one of the other ladies who is going to be a part of footprints so that was neato.

my hours are going up a little bit with costoc which is good and im looking into picking up some hours at 7 11 (oh boy...)

but yeah thats the africa progress in a nut shell

this clutz...tell me her name?

You know what i think is totally akward, when you are standing in a group of people and someone you dont know joins and no on introduces you....i think that is absoultly the worst thing in social settings.

we should be grateful

SO
i've started sending out some of my support letters and i have very mixed feelings about it.
I've sent them to some people i havent spoken to in quite a while and genuily i want to know how they are and i hope they dont just see it as me asking for money.

I also had my first contribution today, from my best friend, and i feel so humbled to recieve it and so grateful, after reviewing my finicial situiation i am really going to need the finical support so i dont know, its really cool, im slightly nervous about it...so yeah anyway
i've started looking for another part time job, no luck so far.

oranges

guys i dont know what to blog about